Almost Forgotten Butterflies
by Rosa Cotton
Summary: One man proposes to her, yet she remembers another undeclared love.


Disclaimer: _The Secret Garden_, all characters, places, and related terms belong to Frances Hodgson Burnett and Hallmark.

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Almost-Forgotten Butterflies

"Mary, will you marry me?"

The woman turns away from the man. Her eyes slowly travel over the trees, bushes, flowers…all seeming to have lost some of their color, sweet smell…and magic. A lump forms in her throat. She had at times allowed her imagination to carry her away, imagining being asked that question in this place that means so much to her. But in reality it is all wrong, terribly wrong.

* * *

She was the only person who was not family that saw him off at the train station. Feeling a little out of place, she stood back a little as he bid goodbye to his brothers and sisters. For a moment she wondered if she had been right in coming.

He lifted his head after gently kissing his mother's cheek, and his dark eyes found hers. Her feet started carrying her towards him without her knowledge. The world faded away. There was only him watching her with _that_ light in his eyes, and she was having trouble breathing.

It had been a long time since he looked at her like that, eyes shimmering with something bright and soft, with a ghost of a smile touching his face. When he had watched her like that when they were children, she had only smiled and shrugged, not understanding, and became caught up in the garden again. While at thirteen she still could not comprehend why he looked at her so, she realized she liked the strange butterflies that blossomed in her stomach when she caught him and he held her curious gaze for a long moment. And five years later, she wondered – hoped – if the light in his eyes matched the feeling in her heart. They had stared at each, probing, searching… He had handed her a red rose… She had been about to ask… Then Colin…

There had been a strange distance between them after that. Smiles did not quite reach the eyes. Hands did not brush as often. They were more silent, with Colin nearby. Things on the brink of discovery were buried once more.

Now there was that shimmer again, for her. Seeing it again made her want to cry and laugh.

"Thank ye for coming, Miss Mary," the words were spoken softly.

She gave him a small smile. "You're welcome, Dickon." Colin had not wanted her to go to the station; it had been a very heated argument.

He nodded. She swallowed, almost-forgotten butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She felt that his intense gaze saw right through her, her calm, brave composure so close to breaking.

"Be safe," her voice quivered.

"We'll meet again, Miss Mary." He gazed into the distance, and something like peace settled in his face.

The tears welled up rapidly in her eyes, and a lump formed in her throat. "Dickon."

Pools like blackest night and bluest sky met and held.

She unsuccessfully tried to put her whirling feelings into words. Only his name came, "Dickon…"

He leaned down and gently touched his lips to hers. Her hand on the nape of his neck stayed him when he started to pull back. It was a kiss of longing with bitter reality stealing in, tasting like tears. Unlike when they had been so young, the garden whispering, and there had been nothing but innocence and magic on their lips.

Too soon they pulled back. Both their gazes were bright, an unspoken understanding and realization passing between them. Then they let go, "Mary" filling the space around them.

* * *

Three years ago she saw him go.

The tears run unchecked down her flushed cheeks. This was not how she imagined this happening. Amidst the dimmed garden she imagines a girl – a child – and a boy so much taller than her galloping happily around and around.

"No, Colin. I'm sorry."

The letter in her pocket burns her hand. It is the last one she received... She had started her reply when the news came. There are words about darkness pierced by flashes, marches, moans, the moor, a face giving one strength and hope. And at the very bottom, never said aloud…

_I love you._

THE END

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Author's Note: Man! That turned out sadder than I intended:::blows nose::: Tissues anyone:::holds out box::: 


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